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In Business
How To Write Letters That Appeal To Men
Part VI
The Appeal To Different Classes
Chapter 23
ONE-HALF of
the form letters sent out to men are thrown away unread. A bare ONE-THIRD
are partly read before discarded, while only ONE-SIXTH of
them--approximately 15 per cent--are read through. The reason why such a
large proportion is ineffective is this: the letter-writer, through
ignorance or carelessness, does not strike the notes that appeal to every
man. Here are some of the subtle ways by which correspondents have forced
the attention of MEN by appealing to traits distinctly masculine
* * * * *
If you received a dozen letters in your mail this morning it is probable
that there were just twelve different angles to the appeals that were made.
For most correspondents are not thinking about the man they are writing to
but are concerned solely with thoughts about the propositions they have in
hand--and that is why the great bulk of the letters that are opened in the
morning pause at the desk only momentarily before continuing their way to
the furnace room. It is the exceptional correspondent who stops to analyze
his letters, looking at them from every viewpoint, and then tests out his
conclusions, trying one appeal after another until he evolves certain
principles that pull letter writing out of the class of uncertainties and
enable him to depend upon definite returns.
For there are appeals that are practically universal. Appeal to a man's
ambition and you have his interest: larger income, better position, some
honor or recognition--touch these and no matter how busy, he will find time
to read your message.
You've got to have more money.
Your salary, without income, is not enough. The man who depends upon salary
alone to make him rich--well-to-do--or even comfortable, is making the
mistake of his life. For the minute you stop working, the money stops coming
in. Lose a day and you lose a day's pay--while expenses go right on.
Don't you think it's time you got Nature to work for you? A dollar put into
a peach orchard will work for you days, nights and Sundays. It never stops
to sleep or eat but keeps on growing--growing-- from the very minute you put
your money in.
Think of the difference between a dollar invested with us and increasing and
yielding day by day and the dollar which you use to purchase a few moments
idle diversion or pleasure. The latter is lost forever--the dollar put to
earning with us earns forever.
* * * * *
"More money." That appeal strikes home. One glance at the letter and a man
is interested. He may not have money to invest but the other letters will
remain unopened until he finds out whether there is not some plan or scheme
that will actually mean more money to him.
The correspondence schools recognized the force of this appeal and developed
it so systematically that it might be called the standard correspondence
school argument.
Here is one of the best pulling arguments:
Pay-day--what does it mean to you?
Does your money "go 'round?" Or does it fail to stop all the gaps made by
last week's or month's bills?
Last week--according to actual, certified reports on file in our office--A.
B. C. men got their salary raised as a direct result of becoming more
proficient from studying A. B. C. courses.
Don't you think it's time that salary raise was coming your way?
* * * * *
The same product--a correspondence course--may use the line of appeal
peculiarly appropriate to men--that of responsibility. Such a letter leads
out:
If your expenses were doubled tomorrow could you meet them--without running
heavily in debt?
If you had to have more money on which to live--to support those dependent
upon you--could you make it?
You could if you had the training afforded by our course; it has doubled
other men's salaries, it can do the same for you.
* * * * *
Next to the appeal to ambition in strength is this appeal to responsibility.
This is the burden of the arguments used by insurance companies, savings
banks and various investment companies.
An insurance company marketing a particularly strong investment policy, and
which follows the plan of writing to the prospect direct from the home
office, finds that such a letter as this pulls:
Our Agent, Mr. Blank, no doubt has presented to you a majority of the many
advantages of a ---- policy in the ----. But we want you to have in writing,
and signed by an officer of the company, what we regard as the main reason
you should be with us.
No civilized man can evade responsibility. Should anything happen to you,
you are responsible for that loss--to your business--your family--your
friends. Is your responsibility great enough--without the protection of the
Regal Company--to "make good" your own loss?
* * * * *
But the kind of appeal to make is only one phase of the problem. Of equal
importance is the manner of making that appeal.
On first glance it would be thought that the products which appeal
specifically and exclusively to men would be marketed by talking points
which have specifically and exclusively the masculine appeal. But such is
not the case. Men's clothes, as an instance, are marketed on the talking
points, "need for suitable dress," "quality," "style," and similar
arguments. These arguments are not the ones appealing merely to men; women
are just as much interested in need of suitable dress and the quality and
style of the garment worn as are the members of the opposite sex. But the
general talking point may be extended, or rather restricted, so as to make
an appeal to men along the lines of their exclusive experience:
Clothes are the outward index of the inner man.
The business man who dresses so as to show his inherent neatness and
orderliness has just that much advantage over his less careful competitors.
The employee who meets the responsibilities and niceties of good business
dress shows to his sharp-eyed employer that he is a man who is liable to
meet the niceties and responsibilities of a better position.
More than once has both business and advancement hinged on appearance. And
good appearance never handicaps--never holds a man back.
* * * * *
HOW DIFFERENT ARGUMENTS APPEAL TO MEN
Price Foremost Sentiment Useless Style Slight Quality Important Flattery
Doubtful Exclusiveness Seldom Testimonials Effective Reputation Reassuring
Service Essential
* * * * *
This presentation is good "man copy" for it is based on that universal
attribute--the desire to "get on" in business and as an employee. This
letter has the right kind of appeal, rightly presented. Compare that letter
with the one sent out by a tailor to the professional men of his city:
Dear Sir:
I hope you will excuse the liberty I am taking in addressing you personally,
but as it is on a matter that affects you very much and also your
profession, I hope you will overlook the familiarity.
As a physician you realize the importance of having good clothes and also of
having them kept in good order, both from a social as well as a professional
standpoint.
Being situated in your immediate neighborhood and having my store open a
greater part of the day, I am sure the proximity will be a great convenience
to you.
I have had twenty-seven years' experience in making clothes and cleaning,
pressing and repairing them. I do not think you need question my ability to
do your work satisfactorily as I have made clothes for some of the most
fastidious and aristocratic people in the world.
Sixteen years in London, England, making clothes for Lords, Dukes and other
titled people should entitle me to your consideration.
Perhaps you may have some lady friends who need garments remodeled, cleaned,
pressed or repaired, who would be glad to know of my shop.
I assure you I will attend to all orders promptly and do your work as you
want it.
Yours very truly. [Signature: M. B. Andrews]
* * * * *
This letter begins with an apology and there is no inducement to patronize
the tailor except his unbacked assertion that he made clothes for "titled
people" for sixteen years
* * * * *
He starts out with an apology and his sentences are involved. His boast
about the work he has done for titled nobility abroad indicates that he is a
snob--the whole letter lacks conviction.
Sometimes a man-to-man appeal may have the heart interest that strikes a
responsive chord.
Dear Mr. Smith:
[Side note: A statement that every man agrees with. Good description.]
An extra pair of dressy, well-made trousers is something every man can
use--no matter how many suits he has. Here is an opportunity to get a pair
at exceedingly moderate cost.
[Side note: Effective method of dealing with a real bargain.]
You know how we make trousers--what substantial, well-selected patterns we
carry; how carefully we cut, so as to get perfect fit in the crotch and
around the waist; how we whip in a piece of silk around the upper edge of
the waist; put in a strip to protect against wear at the front and back of
the leg at the bottom; and sew on buttons so that they won't pull off.
[Side note: Sending of samples greatly increases power of letter.]
Our season is winding up with a lot of patterns on hand containing just
enough for one pair or two pairs of "Burnham-made" trousers. See the
enclosed sample. There's a good variety in dark patterns and a few light
patterns, not a one sold regularly at less than $6.50 and some sold as high
as $7.50.
[Side note: This consideration for the old customer is sure to have a good
effect.]
These remnants won't go into the windows until Saturday morning. We are
notifying you, as a regular customer, that as long as these remnants last
you can get a pair of trousers from any piece for $5.50, or two pairs at the
same time from the same measure for $10--workmanship just the same as if you
paid the regular price.
[Side note: The last half of the closing sentence has much subtle power.]
This is a REAL bargain, and we hope to see you before the best of the
patterns are picked out.
Truly yours, THE BURNHAM COMPANY
* * * * *
Here is a letter sent out by a rival tailor. It grips attention in the first
sentence and carries conviction. It prompts immediate action and every
sentence carries an appeal. Unlike the preceding letter, it does not talk
about the writer but about the goods he has for sale--the bargains he offers
* * * * *
The manager and owner of a business which was in immediate need of money had
tried out different sales letters with but fair success. His product sold to
men; it would stand up under trial; the difficulty lay entirely in awakening
interest in a highly competitive product.
As there seemed scarcely a chance that the business might be made to live,
the manager decided to take the public into his confidence--partly, perhaps,
as extenuation for the failure he saw ahead. So he led out with a sales
letter beginning with this appeal:
Suppose you had put every cent of money--every bit of your wide
experience--every ounce of energy--into a business wouldn't you want to see
it go--live?
And if you knew--positively knew--that you had the test product of its kind
in the world--wouldn't it spur you to still greater efforts--if you knew
that there was danger of failure simply because the public was not prompt
enough in responding?
You, like hundreds and thousands of others, have had it in mind to buy of me
sometime. It is vital to the life of my business that you make that sometime
NOW!
* * * * *
The pulling power of this letter was phenomenal; not only did thirty-five
per cent of the list order, but twelve per cent in addition answered,
stating that their orders could be depended upon later. In addition, there
were scattering letters of encouragement and comment, making the total
result a marker in the era of solicitation by mail.
What made this particular letter pull, when dozens of other letters, written
by the same man to the same list on the same proposition, had attained only
mediocre results?
The last letter made a distinctive appeal--to men--and particularly to men
in business. For, since the time of "playing store," every man has met, in
its many varied guises, the wolf of Failure--and once a fellow business man
is in the same plight, the man who loves fairness will do his part to help
out.
That these talking points that appeal to men are efficient is proved by such
cases as just cited; once the man-to-man appeal is actually brought out, the
response is immediate.
While such appeals occasionally make a ten-strike, the average correspondent
must rely upon logic and "reasons why" in making his appeal to men.
The ability to reason from cause to effect, omitting none of the
intermediate or connecting steps, has long been held to be a substantial
part of the masculine mind. Orators have found that logic--conviction--may
have little or no effect on a feminine audience and yet prove the surest
means of convincing an audience of men. School teachers early note that the
feminine portion of the school lean towards grammar--which is imitative and
illogical--while the boys are generally best in mathematics, which is a hard
and fast "rule" study.
Similarly in business, the average man is used to "working with his pencil,"
and will follow a logical demonstration to the close, where a woman would
not give it a passing glance.
One of the latest selling campaigns, marketing town lots in various new
towns between St. Paul and the Pacific Coast, appeals to the logical note in
the masculine mind, and grants a concession in a follow-up, even before it
is asked for. This makes a particularly strong appeal to the man who has
begun to think about the proposition and who senses that, somehow, it is not
quite logical.
We have a letter from a man who, like you, read our advertisement and sent
for more information, including a copy of our contract, and he wrote as
follows:
"I don't like the forfeiture clause in your contract. Under it, if a man
paid you $950, and then lost his job and couldn't pay any more, you would
have the right to gobble up all of his money and keep the lots too. You
wouldn't dare to make a contract with me under which as soon as I had paid
you $300 you would deed to me the first lot mentioned in my contract--the
lot at -----,--and then with each $100 paid in on the contract, deed me the
next lot named in my contract. If you would do this, I would take your
contract in a minute, because I would have some land for my money I paid in,
if I had to quit before I paid you the full $1,000."
We took this man at his word, and have since thought that possibly there
were others who regarded our contract as being too severe.
If this was the reason that you did not invest with us, we ask you to
examine the enclosed proof sheet, from the printer, of our new contract, and
write us not only if it suits you, but if you can think of any other way to
make it any more fair and equitable.
* * * * *
The illustration given is particularly good because it is anticipatory--nips
an objection that may be just forming in the mind of the prospect.
Dear Sir:
We sent you a sample of our Royal Mixture tobacco in response to your
request some time ago. We are anxious to know what you think about it.
This is the best tobacco on the market today at the price, and as we know
you would not have asked for a free sample unless you intended to buy more
if you liked the sample, we hope to receive your order by return mail.
Very truly, [Signature: Morton and Morton]
* * * * *
A flat, insipid letter entirely without order-pulling force. The attempt to,
twist the request for a free sample into an obligation to place an order
strokes a man's intentions the wrong way
* * * * *
Dear Sir:
Well, how did you find the tobacco?
I'm anxious to learn your opinion of Boyal Mixture, now that you've burned a
bit of it in your pipe.
I believe in this tobacco, and back it up with a guarantee that removes all
risk so far as the customer is concerned. I refund money without argument if
you are not satisfied.
Royal Mixture is not intended for smokers who are satisfied with any old
stuff that will burn and give off smoke. It is used by people who want
nothing but the best and know it when they get it. It's the perfection of
pipe tobacco.
Men who smoke my Mixture for a month can't come down to common mixtures
again. It spoils the taste for cheap tobacco. Smoke a dozen pipes of it and
you'll wonder how you ever got any comfort out of ordinary smoking tobacco.
Royal Mixture is skillfully blended from clean, ripe leaves of the very best
tobacco grown. It is neither too strong nor too mild--it is precisely what a
knowing pipe smoker likes: fragrant, satisfying, delightful to nerves,
nostrils and palate.
There's a glorious, natural aroma about Royal Mixture which appeals to a
gentleman's nostrils most favorably. Particular pipe smokers praise it in
the highest terms, and prove the sincerity of their praise by ordering it
from month to month.
Shall I number you among the "regulars?" Remember, you can't buy Royal
Mixture from the retail shops. It goes direct from packer to purchaser and
reaches you in perfect condition.
The cost is so small, and as you take not a particle of risk but can secure
full refund of money if dissatisfied, why hesitate to order? The
responsibility is entirely upon me.
Every day you delay ordering means a distinct loss to you of greater pipe
pleasure than you have ever experienced.
Won't you sit down now, while the matter is right before you, fill enclosed
blank and mail me your order TODAY--THIS MINUTE?
Yours very truly, [Signature: L. W. Hamilton]
* * * * *
Here is the letter rewritten, explaining why this tobacco is superior. The
appeal is cleverly worded to flatter the recipient into believing he is one
of those who know and demand something a little better than common. The cost
is kept in the background by the guarantee of satisfaction and the clincher
prompts immediate action
* * * * *
Appeals to men can be peppered with technical description and still interest
and get results. The sales manager of a house selling cameras by mail says,
in speaking of this principle:
"We found it necessary to use an entirely different series of letters in
selling our cameras to men and to women. Generally speaking, men are
interested in technical descriptions of the parts of the camera; women look
at a camera from the esthetic side--as a means to an end.
"In writing a sales letter to a man, I take up, for instance, the lens. This
I describe in semi-technical terms, stating why this particular lens or
combination of lenses will do the best work. Then follows a description of
the shutter--and so on through the principal parts until, if the prospect be
seriously interested, I have demonstrated, first, that the camera will do
the best work, and, second, that it is good value for the money.
"In writing a letter, under the same conditions, to a woman, I put all
technical description in an enclosure or accompanying folder and write a
personal note playing up the fact that in after years it will be very
pleasant to have pictures of self, family, baby, and friends.
"These two appeals are the opposite poles of selling--the one logic and
conviction, the other sentiment and persuasion."
Logic and conviction, in fact, are the keynotes to selling men by mail. Men
fear being "worked." On those occasions when they have been "worked," it has
generally been through sentiment--through the arts of persuasion rather than
a clearly-demonstrated conviction that the proposition was right. As a
consequence, persuasion alone, without a mass of figures and solid
arguments, does not convince a man.
A land company uses a novel method of conviction along this line, aiming to
get the prospect to furnish his own figures. The idea is, that these
figures, prepared by the prospect himself, and the accuracy of which he
himself vouches, will work conviction.
The letter reads in part:
Suppose, ten years ago, you had paid down, say $10 on a piece of cheap land.
Then from time to time you had paid in say $10 per month on the same land.
Had you been able to buy then as you can buy from us now, your land would
have been secured to you on your first payment.
Now figure out what you would have paid in at $10 per month in ten years.
Now, remembering that well-selected land doubles in value once, at least,
every five years, what would you be worth now, from your $10-a-month
investment?
* * * * *
The letter proved the best puller of a series of try-outs sent to
professional men and men on salaries.
Every man has, as a by-product of his every-day experience, certain more or
less clearly defined impressions. With some men these are still in a sort of
hazy formation; with others these vague ideas are almost a cult. The
letter-writer who can tap one of these lines of thought gets results in a
flash. Such letter takes a basis of facts common to most men, blends them in
the letter written, so as to form fixedly from the prospect's own ideas and
experiences, a firm conviction that what the writer is saying is absolute
truth. A single sentence that does not ring true to a man's experience is an
obstacle over which the message will not carry.
A company selling land in the west, sent out a five-page letter-- enough to
smother whatever interest might have been attracted by the advertisement.
Here is the third paragraph from the letter:
"As you were attracted by this investment opportunity after reading the
straight facts regarding it, I have come to believe in your judgment as a
careful and prudent person who recognizes the value of a good, permanent,
promising investment."
* * * * *
That's enough! It is barely possible that the first few paragraphs might
arouse the reader's interest enough to glance through the five pages, but
this crude attempt to flatter him is such palpable "bunk" that he is
convinced there is not the sincerity back of the letter to make it worth his
while--and five pages more are headed for the car-wheel plant.
The "man appeal" is one that draws strongly from man experience. Ambition,
responsibility, logical arguments, reasons why--these are the things that
the correspondent keeps constantly before him. They all have root in
experiences, habits of thought and customs which distinguish men; they are
more exclusively masculine attributes that play an important part in the
make-up of letters that rivet the attention of busy business men.
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